Slow it down..

Wow, what an adventure. 5 days traveling around non-stop with five fellow couchsurfers. I can't even explain what an amazing time I had. I will never forget it!!

So we left Tuesday, the 13th from LA. Raj (from India but lives in Canada) set up the trip. He picked me up in LA and with him already was Evelyn (from China) and Alex (from Russia). We headed to pick up Ramona (from LA) and Fernando (from Spain). The six of us packed into the Suburban with all of our gear tightly squeezed into the back. The start of the trip was slightly awkward with no one really talking. eventually everyone warmed up after stopping for lunch at Subway. The rest of the drive was good, music, singing, dancing and sharing stories. A few hours away from the Grand Canyon we spotted 2 hitchhikers and of course I say "pick them up pick them up" and Raj says it too. So we stop and see it's not just two hitch hikers but their two dogs also. We talk for a minute deciding if they should join or not (we do technically have two open seats). They join us. The pups sit on their laps and the 8 of us plus two doggies continue on our adventure. They're on their way to Kansas so we take them as far as we can but they depart when we stop for groceries a short ways from the Canyon.

Around 10 pm we arrive at the Grand Canyon and find a place to camp out for the night. They guys get the tents set up while the girls get dinner going (spaghetti and beer). After quite a time trying to get the water to boil (no lid for the pot and it's freezing outside) we finally sit down and eat. We call it a night after eating since we want to get started down the Canyon as early as possible in the morning. Since my tent is 2 person and kind of small me and Raj sleep there and the 4 others take the bigger tent. Before we fall asleep me and Raj want to take a picture together in our tent and I have a small laughing spell (if you know me you know how my laughing can be :) ) because Raj can't keep his eyes open when the flash is on the camera. It was hilarious. It was a cold night and the ground was so cold and hard it was basically like sleeping on concrete haha. In the morning we make toast with jelly for breakfast then pack up camp and head to find where to start down the Canyon and to get permits for Back Country camping at the bottom of the Canyon.

After talking to the guy who gives us the back country permits we decide to do the 7 mile hike down the Canyon and go up the other side which is 9.6 miles. How difficult can it be, right? The guy tells us it's not too bad hiking up and the extra 2 miles is mostly flat walking. Ha. We'll see. We drive to one of the look out points to get the top view of the Canyon and then head to the visitors center to park the car and get our gear organized for the hike down. While we're putting our stuff in bags and deciding what we need and don't need (beer is my only priority hehe) 2 rangers walk up and ask where we're headed. We tell them our plan and they tell us not to take all the stuff we're taking. They say it's going to be warmer at the bottom so we don't need the big winter coats or even a tent. She tells us we can just take sleeping bags and sleep right under the stars. So of course, we follow their advice and pack lightly, sleeping bags, food and beer. Then we set out. It wasn't a terrible hike down, some parts made me nervous because of my fear of heights so I was slower (more cautious with my steps). Raj stayed in the back with me though so that was nice. We stopped for a snack and then when we thought we were pretty close to the bottom we all sat around and shared a big bottle of wine. The last 2ish miles were a piece of cake for me then haha. By the time we all arrived to the camp site we were exhausted. Hiking with a backpack is more difficult than you would think, especially since I just had my LLBean bookbag from middle school, not so great on your back with the weight and everything. Our campsite was amazing. Right by a river, trees and the beautiful Canyon surrounding us. The animals that we saw get so close to you and we actually had a mama deer and her baby walk through our site. After getting situated at our site we get dinner made (rice, beans and tortillas) and start drinking. As it gets darker it starts getting colder and we start cursing Erica (the park ranger) for tricking us into not bringing out tent or warm clothes haha. The beer and bourbon helps. I brought a bottle of Jim Beam and Alex also bought a bottle at one of our stops. We pass it around the circle drinking straight from the bottle. Around 7:30 pm we head to the ranger station where we can warm up and play cards until 10 pm. It was such a fun night. Ramona ended up losing her hat at some point (it was a special hat to her) so I went with her and we tried to find it. We were both pretty drunk so it was quite the adventure, we went in circles and eventually found it. After finding it we couldn't find the ranger station so we had to find someone to show us the way haha. When the place closes we head back to camp and set down tarps and the extra sleeping bags one of the rangers lent us (since erica lied haha) then cuddle up under the stars and head to sleep. The guys slept on the outside edges and the girls were in the middle. I felt bad through out the night because Raj was so cold out the outside edge. We all tried to stay as close together as possible to stay warm though :) Adventures. In the morning it was Raj's birthday and we had bought balloons and bread pudding at our stop so we got it together and sang to him. What a good way to spend your birthday right?

I would pee myself if I rode a mule down/up, they are so close to the edge!!

snack break

*sigh* so nice.

Scary path on the edge haha

It doesn't even look real.

Wine circle :)



Look closely and you can see the trail we went down and the bridge over the water is where we ended up :)

Amazingly Gorgeous

Excited to be at the bottom haha

Me and Raj's dirty shoes

I love this one, good times

Bourbon, beer and water. :)

We found the hat!! Yes!

Where we slept, so lucky even with the cold.

About to blow out candles :)

birthday group shot :)

Our campsite view

The deer walking through our site

As we began the hike up nobody truly knew what to expect. Most of us were sore from the previous hike the day before. I will say this, it was the hardest 9.6 miles I've ever walked. The view was amazing and having new friends to share it with was great but it was insane. At the 5 mile point we stopped to eat our bagels with cream cheese. Alex and Fernando had been walking quicker so they were in front of us and waited at the halfway point for us. As we finished up our bagels we were dreading continuing. As we got to the last 3 miles it began to seem never ending. The curves, the incline, the steps, everything seemed impossible. Me, Ramona and Evelyn were struggling. Raj was staying back with us because he wanted to be last to ensure everyone was okay. Near the last mile I came unbelievably close to crying. At the last 3 mile mark my knee was hurting intensely. Every time I had to step up the "steps" and back down I thought I would cry. As I sit typing this I have a heating pad on my knee because the pain is still so bad. When we got to the end I felt like I would cry because I was so proud of all of us. It was the first time Evelyn had ever even been hiking. She did so amazing. We hiked the freaking Grand Canyon. 17 miles. Down one day and up the next morning. How insane? I am so happy of the adventure we shared. I don't know many people (no one off the top of my head) that have done what we did. *sigh* I'm a happy girl. So when we reached the top we had to find Fernando and Alex to meet up with them and head out. Fernando left a note on the car telling us where he was so Raj went and got him. We couldn't find Alex though. Apparently she went faster than Fernando and when he got to the end he couldn't find her anywhere. We called the park rangers to let them know what was going on so they could keep an eye out for her. Then we began to drive around looking for her. As we arrived at one of the stores we thought she may be waiting at a Jeep drove up beside us beeping it's horn. It was Alex, apparently we all just missed her, I don't know how that is even possible but at least we were all back together and she was okay. Everyone was exhausted and in pain. We decided to drive to Vegas, eat and get a hotel for the night so everyone could have a hot shower and good rest. We got to the hotel, everyone showered and then we played Pictionary and Jenga until 3:30 am. It was a fun night. We decided we would get up in the morning and drive to Death Valley to see the Sand Dunes and hopefully find some hot springs to swim in. We checked out of the hotel and went to get breakfast at IHOP. Me and Ramona were the only ones who had ever been to an IHOP so that was cool. Then we headed off to Death Valley. Stopped at Dantes lookout which was beautiful. Went and saw the sand dunes, I stayed back while everyone went and rolled around because my knee was hurting and the hills were excruciating to walk up and down. Next we drove to the hot springs. It was on the way back to Vegas and nobody knew what to expect. Boy was it interesting haha. We arrived and found out the the natural springs were full of bugs now so they didn't recommend us going in them. They had some inside that were apparently filled with the water from the spring. Our option was to go in the group one for $10 a person or get a private one for $25 flat rate. The real kicker was that if we took the public group one.....clothes weren't allowed...no bathing suits or anything. So we decided to go with a private spring. :) We all got changed, grabbed a few beers and headed to our private "spring". We all were so surprised when we got inside. It was like a little square hot tub.....without the jets.....so strange. Haha. It was fun though. We sat in it for an hour drinking and talking. A good/interesting experience. We went back to Vegas after for our last night together and headed to the Strip. I was slightly disappointed to be wearing hiking clothes out on my first night ever in Vegas haha but it was still good times. We ate dinner at a pizza place. Gambled a little and drank free drinks. Got back to the hotel around 4 am and went to sleep around 5 am. Then Fernando left at 7:30 am to go to the airport to fly home and the rest of us headed for the drive back to LA.



On the way back Up

This "steps" of wood killed my knee

One of our many breaks on the way up

Ramona after the 9.6 miles up haha

Look close and you see the trail we followed up...

Again, the trail. So intense.

Trail...

View of Vegas from our hotel

Game Time

Game over!

Dantes View, unreal

group at Dantes View

the moon at the sand dunes

Group on the Mesquite Sand Dunes

Hot springs, haha

The group at dinner

Me and Raj with our drinks, they were too sweet, I refilled mine with beer haha

My beer filled drink in the drink holder that the bathrooms had haha

Put my $5 in and cashed out with 15cents haha

With our free drinks, me with two because some guy walked by and handed me one and told us to follow him hahaa

Inside the Bellagio

I feel so lucky to have had this experience. I met people I am sure to stay in contact with and hopefully see again sometime soon. I learned we can do more than we think is possible at times. We're stronger than we think. I experienced having a group of people who all just met get along and share laughter and stories for 5 days together. I see how people from different places do things and one thing I found intersting was watching how we all ate. Different cultures have unique "quirks" that entertain me. I feel so lucky right now. I'm incredibly happy for my past 5 days and I am so glad to get to share these stories with my friends and family. I feel that even we were on the go every day...life kind of slowed down. I wasn't worried about my phone or what was going on. I just went with the flow and actually had my phone off for the first two days. It was truly a life changing/amazing experience. Glad I replied to the couchsurfing event and was fortunate enough to join Raj and the others. :)

do what makes you happy and be done with the rest

So this song has been stuck in my head for a few days. It's one of my favorite songs. It always gets me thinking.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oV0Vi658byo

I choose to travel. To be away from people I love. Familiarity.

All because the chance to experience all the other wonderful things the world has to offer me....

Loneliness consumes me at times. Regardless of if I'm alone or if I'm surrounded by people. It's hard at times knowing that I can easily go home and be back with my friends and family. Everything I already know. Then I remember how miserable I am there and how I ache to travel and see new places, meet new people.

Now, when it comes to a relationship...finding that "special someone"...that's always hard for me. At times I feel like I have so much I want to do. Traveling and experiencing, how can I possibly put myself in a relationship and expect that person to understand my passion. Then at other times I think, what if I could just find somebody who shares my passion. A person to go with me and experience the world with.

My first road trip I knew I needed to be by myself. I had so much of my past that was weighing me down and that trip taught me so much about who I am. I learned to let go of things I can't change and be okay with that. I learned how independent I am. I do so many things by myself and I am completely content with that. I know numerous people who won't even go to a restaurant alone. When I tell people about my road trip one of the first questions a lot of people ask is "Who did you go with?" I tell them I went by myself. "What, weren't you scared? Didn't you get lonely?". I did get lonely but I honestly can't tell you a time where I was truly scared. I mean one night sleeping in my car I kept hearing people walk by my car and all I could think was it was a cop that was going to tell me to leave...but I wasn't scared.

Now, I recently was talking with a new friend and they said to me "What if you find someone that makes you want to stay where you are?" At first I couldn't think of an answer. I was slightly thrown off guard. I honestly haven't thought much about that. After a few minutes of awkwardly laughing and saying I don't know.....I said, I hope that doesn't happen because I would want someone who can't stand to stay in one place either. Someone else who feels like there is so much to see in the world. How can I possibly stay in one place right now? There is so much living left to do. I can't settle yet. I mean, yes, I want to find someone who makes me want to be with them and share life with them. But I don't want it to be someone who takes away my longing to travel because we all know that is what I am meant to be doing right now.....

And as all this is written I think a small part of my traveling does have to do with hopes of finding some amazing guy to sweep my off my feet. Someone to tell me to "stick around"....

So with all this being said...I need my friends to refer me back to this post if I start talking about settling down with a guy anytime soon and not traveling.....haha ;)

When we were younger we thought everyone was on our side..

I want to write about this simply because it has me pretty upset.

I've met a few new people here in Cali. and I've had some good times with them. But from what happened on my birthday....I'm feeling jaded.

I went out with a new friend (we hung out 3 or 4 times before this) and 3 of the guys she lives with. We went out in downtown San Diego to this 3 story club that was overly packed and, honestly, a bit annoying. I decided to try and make the best of it even though I would have preferred to be somewhere smaller with much less people. We had a good time, I met some of the people she works with and made friends with one of the guys. By the time we left everyone was at least a little drunk just like the rest of downtown. I was walking with the guy I met and talking. Truthfully, I'm not exactly sure how everything got started but I know the guys ended up arguing with a group of angry drunk people passing us. Me, being the person I am, go up to the guys and try to calm everyone down. I tell them let's just leave, it's not worth it, just walk away. Well, the guy I befriended ends up getting hit and nobody does anything.....not one of the 3 or 4 guys that was with us. He was basically getting his ass kicked and they just told him not to do anything. At some point I turn around and out of no where I am punched in the face by some girl. It was so unexpected and hard that I fall to the ground. I lay there and think, what the fuck just happened. By the time I get up I don't see who did it (I couldn't tell you what the person looked like). Again, nobody did anything. The group of us was at least 6 or 7 people and while 2 of us get hit....not one person does anything. So, I start crying not because I got hit but because the thought of this upsets me so much. If I was back home with my friends/family the night would have had a completely different outcome. I would be telling you how a friend got hit and then the rest of the boys backed him up or broke it up. I would be telling you how I got punched in the face and then my friends helped make things even or they got the cops to get these people. I wouldn't be telling you that I spent 20 mins crying telling the girl that there is no way possibly I am going to stay at her house. How I don't want to see any of their faces. How I don't understand how they could just....stand there. By the time this was happening it was just the three of us....the girl I met a few weeks ago and the guy I met that night. We get a cab to her apartment where my car is and she tries to get me to go inside. I said no, I would rather sleep in my car then go up there. So the guy (that is covered in blood) tells me we can just go stay at his house. So we do. I wake up in the morning with my entire face hurting, my knee scraped and bruised. I have a small bruise on the side of my face I didn't even get hit...from falling I guess? The guy has a black eye and of course is hurting. We sit and talk trying to figure out how the fuck nobody did anything. He says "how did my friends just stand there and tell me not to do anything". I tell him they aren't his friends. I tell him that's not what people do. Or at least it's what I thought. He tells me I probably got hit because the girls were Mexican and were probably mad I was trying to help him (he is Mexican also). As sad as that is, it's probably true.

So my sad lesson is that I can't expect everyone to think the same as me. I can't expect everyone to be good and caring and want to help those who surround us. You know, I've seen many fights when I am out and I go up to the people and try and stop it (people I don't even know). Because there isn't a reason for it, it can easily be stopped if someone just cares enough to make the effort to stop it.

I believe in the good things comin....

I'm a child at heart. I think I always will be.

I try to enjoy the little things in life. I've been told I'm naive but that was from a cynic so I don't think it counts ;) All the people I meet in life have a way of opening my eyes a little more and making me think harder about life and the way it goes. I think I am a laid back/open minded person. I try to always see the good in others and I like to give everyone a chance (or 2 or 3...) I became rather close to a pretty cynical person and I was dumbfounded by the way he thought about certain things. People. The world. Life. Sometimes we would talk and I would be left speechless, not able to understand how he could think that way. I've found many people are like this and I must admit it upsets me. After numerous conversations I realized I was changing how he thought about certain things, letting him see a different perspective, just as he showed me his.

I think there's a limit to how carefree and child like I can be because then it does just become naivety. It is hard at times, with all the terrible things that go on daily in the world. I do not believe it is bad to open yourself to people though. Hear their story, learn where they've been, how they became the way they are (good or bad). We don't know everything, we shouldn't judge so quickly or be so fast to shut someone out. I have a thing for love (haha) and I truly believe that everyone in the world just wants to love and be loved. We want to feel like we matter, that we can make a difference. It doesn't matter how cynical you are, you still want to be loved. So I think as every one of us goes through life we have to remember that. Everyone has their own story. Everyone has a past. Everyone wants to know they matter.

Give more. Love more. Care more.

I've been trying to do it right.

Does anyone ever look back at things that have happened in their life and wonder how you let them happen? Or how you got through them? Or even just why they happened? Why certain people come into your life, there is some purpose right?

I don't know. I mean I hear that everything happens for a reason but sometimes I wonder how could there be a reason? What is it? To make you stronger? To teach you a lesson? To make you realize you can get through anything?

Being on this trip, coming out to California, I have had so much thinking time. I often think about people that have been part of my life. Good and bad. I look back at situations and see how much I allowed certain "friends" to take advantage of my kindness. Ex boyfriends who never appreciated the person I am. After so many years, so many new faces, many different outlooks, I realize that I truly am a good person and any friend or boyfriend would be lucky to have me. Even some of my own family has taken advantage of my kindness but I can't let that change me. I know I have been rather jaded by the people who have screwed me over. But over the past 2 or 3 years I have grown immensely and discovered more of the person I am. I feel I finally look at people for who they are, not who I think they could end up being. I can't let my past affect my present. I care so much about people. I want to make everyone happy all the time. I know this isn't possible but I finally feel like my outer shell has been broken and I'm not as "tough" as I used to be. Which, to me, is good. I let people in easier. I don't feel so afraid of being hurt. It just is what it is. Hopefully people appreciate me and return the kindness to me, if not, oh well.

Having this fresh start, (a chance to make all new friends, possibly find someone to be with) is incredibly exciting to me. It's also a little overwhelming at times. It's not always easy to meet new people. Many people my age are so disconnected, it's hard to be let inside. Luckily I have couchsurfing. I am already meeting new people from there. I have a handful of people I am planning to hang out with in the next week or so. I'm happy about this. The community on the couchsurfing website is amazing. Everyone is open and welcoming. It's a nice change from feeling so stuck in my hometown. Feeling like I had nowhere to go. Now I feel like my opportunities are endless.

We'll see where it all takes me.

I made it!

I have arrived in Cali and boy is it good.

After spending almost a week on the road I am actually tired of driving. I usually love driving, it's something that's never bothered me. Heck, I spent 4 months on the road by myself last year and loved it. This time it all felt different to me and the road was a little more lonely and a lot less entertaining. I found myself stopping numerous times when I didn't really need to, just to get out of my car and see other people.

When I left Knoxville TN I was headed to Memphis where I met up with my first couchsurfing host of my trip. We met at a mexican restaurant (El Torro Loco) and had a good dinner. My host was Amy, she lived with her boyfriend Daniel. They were.....an interesting couple. After dinner we just headed back to their place and they did work on their computers while I messed around on mine.

My 3rd stop on the trip was Oklahoma City, OK. I stayed with a girl name Maegan and had a wonderful time. I met her at a place called Cafe Nova where they were having free beer happy hour. Essentially you buy a 5 dollar appetizer and then get free beer from 4-7. Pretty good deal. We hung out for 4 hours talking and drinking. I felt like she was a friend I had known for a while. One of those sad times where I wonder if I will ever see this person again. It was a great time though. We ordered dessert, she got a chocolate layer cake (which would normally be my choice) I ventured out of my box and tried the Cafe Latte gelato. It was amazing! We shared desserts and then headed to her apartment. We talked for a little longer but then headed to bed since she had to get up early for work and I was exhausted from driving.

I then headed to Albuquerque, NM where I met my 3rd couchsurfing host, Emily and her roommate Dustin. I arrived at their house and they invited me to dinner. We walked down to a restaurant and I got a delicious breakfast burrito, yum. We talked during dinner but when we got back to their place they both had work to do. When I was in Oklahoma City Maegan was telling me about a Balloon Fiesta she was going to later in the week that was in Albuquerque and said I should check it out. I talked to Emily and found out it was super close to her house so I decided to get up at 5am and go check it out. It was definitely worth it. Such a super cool experience. Hundreds of hot air balloons all flying at the same time.

My last stop before CA was Laughlin, NV. I stayed in a casino/resort which, if you know me, is pretty ironic haha. I am so tight with my money and I am always trying to save whenever possible. My plan was to just got down to the bar and have a drink, not play any games. Well, since they have the touch screen poker games on the bar...I gave in. I lost what I put in but atleast I didn't put a whole bunch in haha. Plus the free Jim Beam while I played kind of made it worth it :)

I left Laughlin around 10 am and headed to Los Angeles. I was planning to meet up with a new friend, new friends and new adventures in cities I haven't been to are always good. I met up with him at his house and we got in his car trying to figure out what to do. He took us down to the beach and we walked and talked for a while then decided to go have a drink at a bar he likes. The beer turned into a little bar hop adventure where we had one beer and then moved on to another cool dive bar. Lots of talking and laughing, great welcome into California. Yay for having one new friend in this big new place! Haha.

Now, I am at Kim's house with the girls. I am so thankful for her and what she is doing for me. I love her and the girls so much and feel so at home here with them. I will say Gracie and CR make me miss my girlies. Me and Gracie had a hula hoop competition yesterday when I arrived. Kim made an awesome hula hoop out of clothes hangers for CR since she didn't have one haha. She wasn't so into it. Today I got to hang out with the girls while Kim went grocery shopping and ran some errands. We made some cookies and played outside. I'm so happy to be here. I miss my family and friends so much but I know I am going to make new friends here and have amazing new adventures.

On the road again....

As I pull off from the house I grew up in. The house with so many memories, so many good times, I can't help but start crying again. All I can see in my rear view is my mom and my niece running after my car waving and yelling "I love you!". So by myself, seconds from my house, I can turn around or I can keep going and chase my dreams. As soon as my tears begin to fall my GPS begins to talk and I start to laugh hysterically, while crying. My mom updated my GPS for me before my trip. Every time she uses hers she turns the volume up all the way and it scares be every time it talks, when I use mine, the volume is off. So I am making my first turn, wondering how I will make it to California by myself, (leaving my entire family on the other side of the country), and here comes the GPS, full blast, with my directions coming to me from a man speaking Spanish. Good one momma, you got me :)

Things were easier after that, I let the man speak Spanish until I stopped in Kinston for a drink and some gummy worms. After about 2 hours of driving I began to feel exhausted. My family came to see me off the night before, so we were up until 3:30 a.m talking and laughing. Waking up at 7:30am when my uncle came by to say goodbye, I felt excited. Now, driving down the interstate by myself I can't help but feel my eyes start to close. I stop in Greensboro to take a quick nap. My nap fails (I've always been bad at napping) so I decide to call my best friend, Emily, to wake me up. Before I can even let the phone finish ringing I start crying! So, I quickly hang up, thinking, "what's my problem?!". She calls back of course and I answer the phone, unable to speak, just randomly taking a loud, squeaky breath through my sobs. She calms be down. Reassures me that I am doing this for good reasons, I am going to get to Cali and be so happy. All I can say is how hard it is to leave my entire family behind, my best friend, how am I going to do it?! She tells me how strong I am. How it's a huge change and it's going to be hard but incredibly worth it. By the end of the convo I am laughing again, until we start to hang up and she says "Call me, for anything" I say alright Emily, don't make me cry again! What would I do without her? Probably still be in Greensboro crying by myself in my car while people walk by staring. Haha. I think this is all made a bit easier knowing I am going to be staying with such an amazing family friend and her two girls. I won't be all by myself anymore when I finally get to where I am going...

But here I am, in my Knoxville hotel. Getting ready to shower and see what Knoxville has to offer, before I head out to Memphis, where I will meet up with my first couchsurfing host of my trip. Here I come Cali, I hope you're ready!