what's going on

the abundance of people in this world is amazing

but what is so amazing about it is how alone people can still feel

how can we be surrounded by others yet feel like we're on our own

america has become something that isn't always so wonderful

our power and greed has formed society into emotionless zombies

money, power, property is what people strive for

happiness, love, compassion are put on the back burner

how do we get by? do we really get by?

suicides, murders, mental hospitals, nursing homes.

we need to take a step back and remember what means the most

in the end our money and belongings won't get us much

since when are street people not as important as CEOs

how do the homeless not have a voice? they have a story to tell.

most likely they have more to say than any higher up on the corporate ladder

I have met beautiful people, with soul and passion, and loneliness.

Smile.

sometimes when  I sit by the ocean
i feel like I'm the only person in the world
because the way the waves crash
makes me believe that there can be no evil
and the way the sand moves through my toes
makes be believe that we can do no wrong
but then I'm brought back to the moment
when that mom is yelling at her child
to stop getting sand on her tanning skin
but all that little girl wants to do is play
or when the couple beside me begins to argue
about where they're going to dinner
and "why were you staring at her?"
when all either one of them wants to do
is be loved and feel secure
but it's not always that easy
we can't always just run free and play
or feel like we are in are safe haven
every second of the day
because there are bad people out there and
yes we will get hit with pain
sometimes hard enough to knock us down
and never want to get back up
but we have to remember
there are also beautiful people out there
warriors, to pick us up when
we've sunk so low they can barely reach us
because there are too many beautiful sunsets
to be stuck so far down
and if you ever hear that couple fighting
or that mom yelling at her little girl
just turn their way with a huge smile on your face
because your your smile will be infectious
causing that chain reaction so when anyone sees it
they can't help but smile back
and then they'll remember that even if they're hurting
somebody cares and wants to see them happy.

Got my indignation but I'm pure in all my thoughts, I'm alive.

I am wandering free
I drift through this world. I float along this path I create so I can fly and be free.
I breathe. Deep. Take every second of it in. I move slowly and surely, all the while I am free.
I feel the pain of being alone and the joy of being completely free.
I believe in myself. My beautiful, perfect, carefree self.
I long for a companion to share my journey with but then I remember I am free.
I ache for a source of income that will aid me but then I remember I am free.
The sites overwhelm me and catch my breath.
Finding myself is my goal, losing my self will happen.
Strong, independent and worthy is me.

Eddie Vedder: Guaranteed. The song that moves me so deeply right now. Listen. Love.

Why does it happen?

Yes I am home and I am alone
And I lay here weeping
Weeping for those without a home
For those without a love
For those with nothing to hold on to
I weep because some give up
if we were just one second sooner
But some give up even in that second
I weep for those with tragedies
Tragedies that are burned into their minds
Burned so deep they can't sleep at night
That overwhelming pain that cant be removed
Waking up sweating unable to breathe
That same damn nightmare that occurs again and again
Yet they can't tell you about it
They can't voice that sorrow
That sorrow that is felt to the depths of their soul
It's unspeakable, unrepeatable, unimaginable
Have you ever felt something the deep
It cuts it's way smoothly through your chest
Deep deep inside so you can't escape it
How can these events occur to those so young
To those who haven't lived their lives yet
But they have felt more than some will feel forever
How does a boy so young find it in himself
Find it in himself to take his last breath
Why do we choose to allow this to continue

Just don't know you.

I want to mold you, hold you, fold into you
I want to grow old with you
I want to experience and roam the streets with you
I want to change and rearrange with you
I want to be better with you
I want to play you and explore you
I want to live life with you
I want to learn from you
I want to teach you and reach you
I want to roam the depths of your mind
I want to touch the inside of your soul
I want to tell you how I feel when I feel
Even when I can’t tell you how I feel
I want to be your sunrise
I want to make your life brighter every day
I want to become part of you
I want to be myself with you
I want to be honest and true with you
I want to love with you
I want to do all of this with you
But I just don’t know you.
So what I want is this,
I want to meet you. 
I want to greet you and complete you.

be who you are.

i am moving.
moving in this world
to the beat of my heart.
while you,
you move to the others beat.
you move to make others see,
what you can't see,
because you are blinded.
you are blinded by the lies they cast,
the shadows they create,
the impossible pictures that they paint.
you, you are stuck
in this place where you can't create.
you are a soldier ant.
moving when they say,
doing what they do.
but why,
do this for you.
do this because you are you.
because you are here to be something more.
because someone loves you more than you know.
what you love is what you need.
they won't keep you happy.
it's all a game, a tiring, endless,
mindless, kindergarten game.
a game where you lose.
you empty the bottle and you lose.
you fill up those veins and you lose.
you lay by that toilet and you lose.
that razor blade falls to the floor and you lose.
they win.
they watch you suffer and they move on.
their prey is waiting while they load up the gun.
while you sit alone in your room.
you sit alone and you wonder what went wrong.
how did you end up here.
that butterfly flew by and you couldn't see.
the beauty didn't move you like before.
you're scared but don't you hold your breath.
breathe deep and move on.
you are strong and vibrant.
that rainbow in that painting can be you.
show them who are you.
be what you dream.
don't settle for the the failure.
rise up and give it one more go.
because you, you  are beautiful.
you are magnificent, like that first shooting star.
you are unique in so many ways.
so put down that bottle,
put down that needle,
put down the blade
put it down and look in the mirror.
see who you are.
because who you are is gorgeous.
so get up and go,
go move, move in this world,
move in this world to your own beat.

change gon' come

I am free,
I am vibrant,
I am flying,
Through this unknown world
Full of sirens.
The air is full, it's clouded, it's rude,
I break out to the top, a new mood.
Pure, refreshing, delightful.
My heart is heavy but not for long,
my shadow cast spells where I don't belong.
I feel a yearning, an aching, a call,
Do I answer and risk the chance to fall.
I continue to move so fluidly so
It's in my bones, my skin, my soul,
I feel it lift and take me on this journey of my own
Powerful, triumphantly, I do this alone
I realize that I am who I am, even when I'm not me
It's confusing and charming and daring
I withstand the test while always caring.
I share this feeling that I want the world to know
All the beautiful people who have a doubt in their mind
The judging and torment, too many so blind,
A second has passed and a change has been made

(whew, I feel like a new person after writing this. I love it.)  :)

This is how I feel. Exactly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDrB7KrbnMc