I would go places and do things depending on what society expected.
When I was in my teens I actually believed I needed to go to a university, start a great career, find the "perfect guy", get married, have kids and live happily ever after.
I stopped believing that when I was about 19 or 20. I no longer believe there is some ideal life we are supposed to live. There is no path we are all meant to follow together, exactly the same.
I have traveled a good amount since I was 20 and I have experienced truly amazing things but I have come to realize I may have been traveling for some of the wrong reasons.
I believe in the back of my mind I was always secretly hoping to find love along the road. Some hippy man with long hair and bare feet that would sweep me off my feet, into his VW van and drive me around North America. I mean, I guess we all have those "dreams" but I feel many days of my traveling were spent seeking out this man, trying to force it to happen. I was not genuinely happy because I was always wanting something more.
Now that I am 25 (I know that is not old but I have experienced more in my life) I have noticed a few things.
First, I think in order for you to be genuinely happy in your life you need to be working a job that you love. Work a job that you look forward to going to every single day. Do something that makes you feel like you are making a positive impact on the world and people around you. A job that makes you want to tell people all the time about your amazing experiences with the people you work with and the job that you get to do. Don't work a job that makes you dread getting out of bed every morning. Don't work somewhere that leaves you feeling stressed and overwhelmed every time you are there. Don't work in a place that has negative energy all around (from the boss, to the janitor). Find something you are passionate about, something you can picture yourself doing for the rest of you life, and make it your "career".
Second, I believe we need to surround ourselves with positive, like-minded people. I read a quote that said "we become like the 5 people you spend the most time with, choose carefully". Take a minute to really think about that. Who are you around the most in your life? Where is most of your time spent? With family? Friends? Co-workers? Pets? Now, how do you feel about these people? Are they people you wouldn't mind being like? Or are they people who you hope to never become? It is important you surround yourself with happy people that help you become a better person. People who motivate and inspire you, not people who bring you down and stress you out. Choose. Wisely.
Third, stop worrying about what society thinks you need to be. I've spent too much of my life worrying about what society thinks. What should I wear? What should I eat? When should I get married? Should I have kids by now? Am I too fat? Should I have more money? etc etc etc. Doing that gets us nowhere. We should only worry about what it is we enjoy, how we feel about ourselves and what makes us the most happy in life. Society is fucked up. It's incredibly unrealistic in more ways than one. Listen to YOUR heart, listen to YOUR mind, listen to what it is YOU want.
Fourth, stop caring so much about money. Yes, we all want to make enough money to live a comfortable life without worries of paying bills or running out of food. But if our days our spent simply focusing on how much money we are making and constantly needing more, we will never be satisfied. If it turns out that you get to work a job you are absolutely in love with AND makes tons of money, awesome! Otherwise be happy with what you have. Stop feeling that you need to have the next best thing. Those fancy restaurants will never be as good as a meal made at home with loved ones. Who cares what brand of anything you have. Don't give in to the richness of society. We can easily get by with much less than we believe. I have read that people that live in places where they have less are often happier because they aren't living a life constantly working to get more and more, they are okay with what they have.
Fifth, stop searching for your "perfect soul mate". I know from experience, the person you are meant to be with will come along when you least expect it, when you stop searching. Immerse yourself in activities you love. Start that new hobby you have been wanting to try for the past few years. Take a class, yoga, kick boxing, zumba, book club, cooking, etc. Find those things in life that excite you and jump in to them all, the right person, with similar interest will fall into your arms. Wait until you're ready though. Allow yourself time alone, time to be single and know how it feels to live on your own, independent. Many people my age seem so dependent on having another person around, sometimes just to have them around not because they are in love or care deeply about the other person, just so they aren't lonely. Find out who you are as a person, what makes you happy, what you want to accomplish in your life, then let someone else join you in your journey. Like I said earlier I had my "dream guy" but that didn't exactly work out. I now have an amazing guy that is in the military (something I never wanted) but we share so many common interest and ideas on life. We do yoga together, we workout, we cook food, we talk, we read, we joke and laugh constantly, we talk about our future and goals we have for ourselves. I have never been so comfortable with another person before. When it is right, you know. This guy came along right when I had stopped looking, when I was ready to move off again to some far away place and never look back. Let it happen on its own.
Lastly! Let go of everything in your life that is no longer serving you. Let go of things that stress you out, make you angry, cause you pain, heartache, discomfort, worry etc. No matter what it is. If it's your job, find a new one. If it's where you live, move. If it's your family, distance yourself. If it's your spouse, let them go. If it's your friends, find new ones. Allow yourself this. Don't have anything in your life just to have it, enjoy and appreciate everything.
You and everyone around you deserve to find happiness and peace in life. If we all did these things I think the world would become a little lighter, a little happier, a little brighter. Try it out. Let me know how it goes.
Remember,
Stay humble. Be grateful. Love Freely.
Namaste
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