Keeping Happiness.

The past 3 or 4 years I have dedicated to trying to find peace within and live a happy life. Finding happiness in life isn't always easy and I believe it is something you have to work to achieve. I've found the need to be aware of the people I share my life with, the environment I live in and the the type of work I choose to do.

I read something the other day that said "You become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. Choose wisely."

It can make you think. Who do you spend the most time with? Are those people you want to be like? Do you have a way to spend less time with them if they aren't?

Anyways, the purpose of this blog is to say things don't always turn out how we may hope for them to. For me though, happiness has to be my main goal in life. I've worked so hard (and continue working every day) to become the person I want to be. I've taken some people out of my life and pulled some in closer. I've quit jobs I didn't feel were meant for me. I've moved from terrible living situations. I spent 4 months on the road trying to figure out who I am and I think I made a lot of progress.

So, the job I started last week with the Grassroots Campaign, working for Save the Children....it was awful. It was nothing like I expected it to be and at the end of my first day I felt drained and let down. I didn't want to tell me friends or family because everyone was so excited for me. I did talk to me friend here though. I told him how I felt about the job and how I wished it was what I expected. He said maybe it would get better. I agreed and went in for my second day. It was no better. The office felt kind of like a joke. People seem to do whatever they want and work whenever they want (which could be nice but when they can't allow me to work certain days because of this...it isn't good). The job was draining. I would be spending 5 hours everyday standing outside a store trying to get donations for Save the Children. People ignore you. People say no. People laugh in your face. Rarely do people actually stop to hear your "rap" or donate money. When people did donate I actually felt guilty taking their money. This job wasn't for me. When I called to tell them it wasn't working out/wasn't what I expected they said they understood and it takes getting used to.

Well, I don't want to get used to that. I don't want to dread going to work everyday just to make a paycheck. So, I'm not going to. It was a hard decision to make because I really do need to start having some money come in but I feel it was necessary. So now I start back at the drawing board. I spent all day yesterday going around collecting applications. Went today and had an interview at a smoothie place. Hopefully I will get that after my second interview this Thursday.

Another big thing I did this morning was go talk to a lady about becoming a yoga instructor. Yoga has been a part of my life for about 5 years now. Since coming to California I have been trying to do some yoga every night before going to bed. I share yoga with my friends and family. I have the children I'm around practice with me. It's something I truly enjoy. So I feel becoming an instructor would be a great opportunity for me. The only problem is the 200 hour course is pretty expensive. But, hopefully would be worth it.

So now I decide if I want to spend the money (if I can even find a way to pay the money) and become a yoga instructor (while also working a job here in San Clemente). Or if I just want to work and save all the money I am making to move on to something new. Decisions. Decisions. Any helpful thoughts?

namaste my friends :)